I was okay with eating bad food for awhile before my injury. I really was. I needed to hold on that crutch to help me in my grief. I admit defeat and I’m not strong enough to deal with grief without therapy, a good donut, and lots of crying. That’s where I was at that point in my life, I needed to hit rock bottom for my health. If losing Max wasn’t enough, I needed to fall a little harder.
It didn’t matter how many healthy instagram accounts I followed, how many healthy recipes were pinned, how many motivational tweets were favorited, it had to be up to me. I was left exhausted counted calories, struggled with physical pain from inflammation, pancreatitis, muscle pain, and always looked at my FitBit to see where was by numbers, not how I healthy I felt.
I had to stop comparing myself to my beautiful friends who ran marathons, can eat tofu out of the box, and can live off water. They trained their bodies to do this. And just like that works for them, I had to do what worked for me. Just like they began somewhere, I had begin somewhere too, even if it was from the beginning. I had to train my mind just like I have trained my body. Instead of thinking where I was starting from the bottom (sorry, Drake) I had to think I was just starting.
The excuses I made-
- I just got my hair blown out and I don’t want to ruin it!
- I have to blog!
- I’m TIRED!
- I have to clean/do laundry/do this/do that!
- I’m sad, and wiping my tears are my cardio for the day, ok??
and so many more.
The thing that's different this time around than last time is I was happy with how I looked. I have a cute wardrobe, everything fit to my size and I loved the body I have. But I wasn’t happy with how i was treating my body. And I was paying for it in daily ailments that could’ve been prevented with food. There was no secret to losing weight and getting healthier. I can’t tell you how to love your veggies. I can’t tell you how to squeeze in a work out after a long day. But I can tell I just started. I fight with my body daily not with weight but everything i had to process with Max. I found comfort in laying in bed and not moving. I found comfort in sadness, I found comfort in everything that was miles away from joy. Then I got up one day and started cooking. That was it. I didn’t think about it, I didn’t dwell on the excuses, I just did it. Don't wait for a new year to begin, just do it now. The only thing I recommend is read the book first. Pinterest and Instagram can be overwhelming!
I still can't walk without a cane, but going from wheelchair to cane is life changing for me. I was told I'd be in a wheelchair until June, maybe longer. I tried crutches but it was so painful, I could only do it for ten minutes a day. Within the FIRST week of Whole30, I went from wheelchair, to crutches to cane. Next week we’ll be going to Disneyland (and yeah, in a wheelchair because I can’t walk for too long) but we’re going to enjoy ourselves without going overboard. When we get back, we’ll be doing Whole30 Vegetarian plus incorporating everything from Eat to Live. I'll never forget what my OB said years ago- she prescribed me food (Eat to Live book to be exact) over prescription medication. I'll never forget that and doing Whole30 stirred up the passion I have to take care of myself and my future. Thanks so much for following along on Instagram, My Fitness Pal, my Snapchat pals who keep me motivated (you know who you are- love you!) and reading this blog. I’m hoping to post more healthy living for my blog 2015! Happy New Year!