Not having a Facebook account is this generation’s version of not having television. I recently deleted Facebook and I feel amazing, like I lost an additional 10 pounds. This is definitely not a I’m better than you because I deleted Facebook post. I actually loved Facebook. It was the safe place where I told people I was first pregnant and the first place I told people about Max before anywhere else. It was great to find support in my lifestyle changes, meet new baby loss mom's. and see what friends are up to. But the older i get the more I value my time. I don’t want to spend hours on my phone wondering what other people are up to when I could just text, call (yes, as in a voice to phone) or email them. I love Instagram and Twitter and that’s enough to give me a glimpse of what’s going on with acquaintances and companies I love to follow, this makes it easier to let Facebook go. When I tweeted all the time I was at a different phase in my life, and I understand the excitement of being online and building community. After almost 10 years of being online, I’ve built my community and now I want to nurture the friendships I’ve made and slowly get to know the new ones I’m discovering. We’ve gone from tweets in 140 characters to direct messaging, to texting, to flying hundreds of miles to see each other.
For months I would pick up my book, get ready for bed, and my plan for the night was to read into my sleep for one hour. Instead, hours later, I would catch myself refreshing my Facebook feed. I was spending more time with Facebook with anything else in my life. I hate admitting that, but I did. Just like I gave up TV, I wanted to give up Facebook. I'm happy with Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter. That already sounds like three too many social media outlets.
After deleting it from my phone, I found myself refreshing it my computer. It became a distraction to what I really wanted to do. I kept coming back to this post from Where My Heart Resides. I love what Ashlee wrote, “If I’ve learned one thing this past week, it’s that social media should be avoided in a time of grief. You will never notice how much people complain about dumb things more than when you’re grieving about something of actual importance.” I thought about it all the time, even before Max died. Now, after dealing with the worst thing that could happen in my life, everything is noise. I want to just stop, enjoy the friends that have been through not just my worst tweets, but my worst moments. When life gets real and you leave the keyboard and computer screen behind, it’s a testament of love.
If I have to let go of things I like for love, then I’m ready to let it go.